We’re Scaring People Away from Security Leadership
The Decline of Security Leadership
We need to talk about what’s happening in cybersecurity leadership, because it’s not sustainable.
We’re scaring people away from it.
Between burnout, lack of emotional intelligence, and a growing list of expectations without the right resources or authority, fewer people want to lead in this space. Those who do often burn out trying to hold everything together. And that’s a dangerous place to be.
Because if we don’t have strong, emotionally intelligent, and resilient leaders steering this ship it’s not just systems and data that are at risk. It’s the people we interact with. It’s the teams we lead . It’s a culture you will have to survive, and not thrive, in.
I’ve seen the impact up close, both in my own career story and through the peers I deeply respect.
The Weight of Middle Management
For many, the hardest season of leadership isn’t at the top, it’s in the middle.
Middle management can be one of the loneliest, most exhausting places to be. You’re responsible for your team’s growth, performance, and emotional well-being, yet often left out of strategic conversations that shape their future.
It’s easy to become the scapegoat when senior management doesn’t have the time, energy, or capacity to lead intentionally. You end up holding the emotional weight of everyone above and below you, accountable for outcomes you can’t fully control.
That imbalance can chip away at even the most passionate leaders.
I’ve experienced it firsthand. The constant juggling act between protecting your team and trying to influence decisions at higher levels can make even the strongest leader question if the role is worth it.
But here’s the truth: leadership doesn’t have to feel like survival. It can feel purposeful, grounded, and sustainable, if we are willing to approach it differently.
What Leadership Burnout Really Looks Like
Burnout doesn’t always show up as exhaustion, sometimes it looks like running full speed on a hamster wheel, expending massive energy but getting nowhere.
It can feel like frustration at systems you can’t fix. It can sound like silence from leaders who say they support you but don’t act like it. It can look like sitting in a meeting and watching months of your team’s work get publicly dismissed by someone who never invited your input.
These moments are more than painful, they’re defining. They force you to decide whether to adapt, resist, or walk away.
For me, those moments became turning points, a reminder if you will that leadership is less about control and more about capacity: the capacity to stay rooted, to keep growing, and to choose accountability over cynicism.
The Resiliency Blueprint
Resiliency isn’t about being unshakable. It’s about learning how to bend without breaking and how to bounce back with greater clarity.
Here’s what building that muscle has looked like for me, and what it can look like for any leader navigating today’s cybersecurity landscape:
Get Clear on Who You Are and Why You’re Here: Clarity is a leader’s compass. Know your core values, your purpose, and your non-negotiables. Without them, it’s easy to find yourself running around like a chicken without a head. Ask yourself: Why am I choosing to lead? What kind of impact do I want to leave behind?
Protect Your Energy Like an Asset: Energy is your most valuable resource, manage it like a budget. Build daily and weekly habits that refill your cup. For me, this looks like mindfulness, reflection, community, movement, and creativity. Joy, fun, and curiosity are not luxuries in this work, they are my tools to thrive.
Redefine Boundaries as Systems of Sustainability: Boundaries are how you maintain alignment with your values. They’re not walls, they’re agreements with yourself (and others) about what’s required for you to show up at your best. Figure out what they are, and hold on to them.
Lead Through Strengths, Not Shortcomings: I am more generalist-leaning in my profession. Meaning, I don’t consider myself having just one skill in cybersecurity. I have experience in: compliance, incident response, vulnerability management, risk assessments, identity and access management, networking, hardware and software management, etc (I’m going to toot my own horn because your girl has range). Once upon a time, someone mentioned to me that going this route will kill my career. Several years later, I am glad I didn’t listen to that comment because it’s now one of my best strengths as a leader in this field. Moral of the story: learn and lean into what makes you, you.
Build Community and Seek Mentorship: Resilient leaders don’t lead alone. They cultivate relationships that challenge and sustain them. If the right community doesn’t exist, build your own. Reach out to peers, mentors, and voices who reflect the kind of leader you aspire to be. Some of the best people in my network have come about because I wasn’t afraid to say “Hi, my name is Dominique. I have a goal and I am looking for help in XYZ area. I see you are an expert in that space, can I have 20 minutes of your time for a few specific questions”. You have no clue the doors that opened for me. And don’t just look up to people for help or questions, look around at your peers, look down for potential mentees, and network with them as well.
Hold Yourself Accountable, With Compassion: Accountability isn’t about blame; it’s about ownership. Whenever I find myself dwelling over a challenge or bind, a helpful reframe for me has been to ask myself: “What is this moment here to teach me? What action can I take next?” That simple shift has helped me move forward so much better and shifts my energy from frustration to forward motion.
Redefining Leadership in Cybersecurity
Leadership in this field has never been about technical skill alone. It’s about the people, and guiding them through complexity, uncertainty, and constant change. Because that is the time we are consistently living through right now.
If we want to attract and retain strong leaders, we must rewrite the narrative from “survive the role” to “grow through the role.” We need leaders who are emotionally intelligent, values-driven, and courageous enough to build cultures where others can thrive.
That work starts with us. It starts with me, who’s choosing to stay in this difficult-AF field, to evolve, and to build something better. And if the current rooms you are in don’t make space for that kind of leadership, then it’s time to build new ones don’t you think?
My Reflection Question to You
What does your Resiliency Blueprint look like? If you don’t have one, no worries - what would that look like? What habits, mindsets, and principles do you want to embody that will help you not just survive leaderships but sustain it with intention and purpose?
